Erratic Unfinished Raw-Dogging

I GOT 36% ON THE GRAMMAR QUIZ
OR MOVIES I MAKE

To-do list to end a year of unemployment: because I'm manifesting a
Decreased neuroplasticity and
Atrophy of neurons. By accident
I insert the stock music And
The trilogy of
Beginning
Middle
And End or
Paranoia or intuition?
Is it the
Intuition
Or paranoia
Of dreaming at high altitudes
tropes
Ancestor visitations
Maybe you just want to be a victim she says
An Unsolved Misery Detective
A psych casualty
Grandpa keeps saying he was born dead and he will die dead
He also keeps using "pop the cherry" as a metaphor
The adults are uncomfortable

I Swipe past a story with a meme that says when the IRS is thicc (two C's)

She's talking to me but I'm thinking about lady gaga and Bradley Cooper singing that song
that's like out in the deep end watching the wind blow far from the shallow now in that parking
lot
which made me think
In my dream a man shot himself in the face and my great grandmother met me for coffee I felt
Trapped in a scene of Solaris

Someone has evil eyed me
There are flies around my head, and a spider bit my lip while I slept
I'm like a witch or something because

A pigeon crashed into my window 4 times today
Or several pigeons
Clara looked it up it's supposed to be good luck
Which is good
I guess

I thought I saw a shirt that says lady of our lake university but it says something else I don't
remember

I couldn't cross the street due to a very long funeral procession — it made me think of trying to
figure out how to cross Beacon street during the Boston marathon in 2013
like, minutes before the pressure cookers at prudential
Which made me think of the Boston massacre in 1771 or what year was that and how now there,
where it happened, stands Chipotle

Which made me think of stepping over the concrete rosary at Broad and federal

Which made me think of the time giant aunt Mary fell on top of me while crossing Telegraph
ave
which made me think of the time I stabbed myself
Peter had to carry me up a hill
Which made me think of the time my mother was stabbed in a tent which made me think of
Toblerone because after my mother was stabbed she gave me a bag of Toblerone
Which made me crave Toblerone
Which made me think of child protective services and not being allowed to drink water at dinner
in foster care
Which made me think my amygdala was is so high speed that it's actually totally fucked up
my periphery
Which made me think I've lost sight and voice and language
Why what's completed
And left Ago
Still tomorrow or here or rather why is yesterday
A mind at the end of my palm

So I joined a bookclub and never followed through
I did buy the book, it came with empty pages. Just the titles of the chapters
Stand alone on the pages
There is nothing listed in the index either
The press is called Parasitic Ventures
Annoying—
Editor's note: our intention here was to be as unobtrusive as possible
Also annoying—
1. ex-communication
2. the freudian unconscious and ours
3. of the subject and uncertainty
4. tuche and automation
5. of the eye and the gaze
In chapter 6, titled "the line and light" there is one sentence: "no doubt, in the depths of my eye,
the picture is painted. The picture, certainly, is in my eye. But, I'm not in the picture."
And then the index reads: Alienation, see under subject
Chance, see under repetition
Arbitrary, see under repetition
Gap, see under unconscious